Harley Dudes

 

Summary of My Last Year on the Computer

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about
poison in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a
wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for
the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick
girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for
the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once
I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are
sending me for participating in their special e-mail
program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214
angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has
granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually
horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I
smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get
answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and
make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca-Cola because
it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to
watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl into my back
seat when I’m pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who
make these products are atheists who refuse to put “Under
God” on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it
causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can’t boil a cup of water
in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face,
disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I
could be nicked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug
me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they
are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t
support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to
dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls
to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I
now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because
a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to
cause me instant death when it bites me.

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t ever pick up $5.00
in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a
molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can’t buy gas from
certain gas companies!

If you don’t send this post to at least 144,000 people in
the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on
your head at 5:00PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12
camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy
hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to
a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s
second husband’s cousin’s beautician…

Have a wonderful day….

Oh, by the way…..A South American scientist from
Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people
with insufficient brain activity read the web with their
hand on the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now; it’s too late.

iPhone 2.0

Well after a year iPhone 2.0 is here.  And of course there are negatives and positives.  No I don’t have an iPhone with 3G.  But you can update all the original iPhones to 2.0.  I can’t tell ya about the 3G part because I haven’t been able to get my hands on an iPhone with 3G yet.  But I can tell you about the 2.0 part.  iPhone 2.0 comes of course with the App Store.  There’s a lot of apps that are written for the iPhone, and there will be lots more.  Some are free and some you have to pay for.  They vary from games, to news, to making it easier to use features of a website(Myspace, WordPress, etc.).  One app that I think is really cool is called Remote.  It allows you to use your iPhone as a remote for your iTunes library or your Apple TV.  

 

 

The App Store.

 

Mail has some new features.  You can now BCC somebody.

 

And you can delete or move multiple messages at once.

 

In Safari and mail, you can now save images to your iphone.  Just touch the picture you want to save for 2-3 seconds and it comes up with a message.

You can also save several pictures at once in mail.

 

In Safari if a youtube movie is embedded on a webpage you can play the youtube video instead of a sign that says you don’t have the plug-in.

 

One negative which people are not happy about is “The slow scroll”.  In Safari when you’re on a webpage that has a lot on it, you try to scroll and it takes a few seconds to respond, and if you do it to much safari will crash.  That can get really annoying.  If anyone else has any negatives or positives about iPhone 2.0, feel free to leave a comment and tell us.

A little computer humor

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong?

He replied, ‘It was an ID ten T error.’

I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, ‘An, ID ten T error? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.’

Eric grinned…. ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?’

‘No,’ I replied. ‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like Eric

Rockstar Mayhem Fest

On saturday July 26, my dad and I went to the rockstar mayhem fest.  Slipknot and Disturbed were co-headlining, there were several other smaller bands(Five Finger Death Punch, Walls of Jericho, Black Tide, etc.). IT WAS SO COOL DUDE!  Of course Slipknot was the best(no brainer there), Disturbed was very good, and Five Finger Death Punch was the best out of the smaller bands.  Lemme see, o yea Dragonforce was totally GAY, wow they sucked.  Five finger death punch should have been on the main stage instead of them.    Sid broke both his feet when jumping off the stage the first night of the mayhem fest, but he still wanted to play. But the other bands were pretty good.  Probably my dads favorite part was when FFDP did The Bleeding.  My favorite part was Slipknot, they were so cool.  The of course did their new single, Psychosocial.  And they played one of the songs off their new album coming out that they hadn’t played for anyone else!  I didn’t have a video camera so I don’t have it on film .  But I did find some vids on youtube of the concert, so here they be.